Intro

- love is not a solo experience, it requires both a lover and a responder. If god is the divine lover, why do not all his creatures feel his love? perhaps some are looking in the wrong direction. 

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Chapter 1: Understanding the five love languages
- everyone has a BASIC love lang that when ppl speaks that language, we are drawn to them because our basic need to be loved is met (this doesn’t work when i speak my love language to other ppl) 

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Summary of Love languages
- WOA (affirmations focused on the persons behaviour, physical or personality. Spoken, written or sung.)
- QT (giving undivided attention.) 
- Gifts (to let ppl know that we were thinking of them) 
- Acts of Svc (ppl who speaks this language is always looking for things he can do for others) 
- Touch (not just hugging and kissing like what we do with children) 

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Chapter 2: God speaks WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
-   ‘forgive me for acting like a nobody when in Your eyes i’m somebody. forgive me for walking away from your love. If you will forgive me and come into my life, i will be somebody for You.’ 

 

God's Encouraging Words

• Do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

• For I know the Plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

• I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness.

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Jesus' Encouraging Words

• I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.

• My sheep listens to my voice; I know them and they follow me, I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Fathers's hand, I and the father are one

• Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last...

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- my love lang is his God expressed His love to me is also my primary response to God 

- God speaks our primary love lang to show his love to us and we speak our pri love lang to show our love to God 

Chapter 3: God speaks QUALITY TIME

- speaking the love lang on quality time, jesus didn’t make his ministry as wide as possible but as deep as possible (12 disciples) 
- Martha was distracted from developing a loving relationship and operated from a sense of duty. she put performance above the person if  Christ. she was doing what was natural for her - acts of svc but her heart was not in it. 
- similarly, those with pri love lang as words can speak empty religious words with no conscious love toward God. 
- when ones primary love lang is qt, times of communion with god are not difficult but joyous, not budersome but burden lifting. the first thing to be concerned aboutt is not how much i can serve or glorify god but how i might get my soul into a happy state, how my inner man might be nourished. 

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Chapter 4: God Speaks in Gifts
- ‘when you consider what God has done for us, we ought to do better for him out of gratitude than the doubters had to do by law’ 
- throughout human history God has expressed his love by giving gifts. Some are material like food and shelter and others are in the realm of the spiritual - eternal life, forgiveness, purpose and peace, leadership, prophets, pastors etc
- some of God’s gifts are given indiscriminately by god to everyone (gentle rain, rising and setting or sun). other gifts are for those who asks.

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Chapter 5: God speaks through Acts of service 

- ‘let’s not be satisfied by giving money, money is not everything. the poor needs the work of our hands, the love of our hearts. Love, an abundant love is the expression of our Christian religion’
- care for spiritual needs as it’s more impt than caring for material needs. the most important thing in our centers is the opportunity we are offered to reach the souls
- God is a God who acts, delivered Israelite, met their needs. 
- jesus claims of deity gives us only 3 options. a deliberate deceiver to be igbored, a deluded peasant to be pitied or the divine Lord to be worshipped. 
- what won most of hearts was Jesus love expressed by miraculous acts of service and His sacrificial voluntary death to pay the penalty for sins 

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Chapter 6: God speaks Physical Touch
- jesus often spoke the language of touch. he held children as he prayed for them, healed ppl by touching them and washed the disciples feet. 
- the touch of god which brings healing is to help ppl make the god connection. 

Chapter 7: Discover your primary love language 

- three key qs (how do i most often express love to other ppl, what do i complain abt most often - reveals ur inner emotional need for love, what do i request most often) 
- 3 qs abt ur rs with god (how do i most often express my love to God, what do i most often complain to God abt, what do i request of god most often)

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- how does knowing ur love lang affect ur rs with god and others 
1) better self understanding (we know what keeps our rs with god alive.)
2) better able to understand n help fellow pilgrims (help me understand the other persons walk with god)

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- love languages in action

when Jesus was on earth, he prayed that His followers would see themselves in unity, not only with Him and His father but with each other. One of the tragedies is that the follower of Jesus have been too critical of each other. 

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Chapter  8: Learning to Speak New Dialects of Love

- We are creatures of habit, if we only do what comes naturally and express our love to GOd in our usual manner, our rs with God will become routine. 

- Don't limit our communion with God to structure and forms. 

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1) Speaking Words of Affirmation

- Thanksgiving (Psalm 100. Give thanks for the material things i have, for people, for creation)

- Praise (Psalm 100:4. Verbal and musical praise, Read Psalms to stimulate your own creativity as you look for words with which to praise God. Praise is not a matter of form but a matter of heart.)

- Write a love letter to God. (can try reading a chapter of what God wrote and write down my response) 

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2) Speaking the language of Quality Time

- Read Bible (talk to God about what I read, express gratitude, ask questions, confess sins, read a commentary, )

- Memorizing Scripture, Consciously talking to talk throughout the day)

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3) Speaking the language of Gifts

- grateful giving (OT ppl gave a tenth of their income, but us who have been blessed with the gift of eternal life ought to give more than what they give in the OT)

- More than giving money (Jesus suggested that a cup of cold water given to a thirsty man as an expression of love to GOd will not go unnoticed by the Father. Loving God is meeting physical needs of His creatures for food, drink, clothing and shelter. )

- Giving encouragement 

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4) Speaking Acts of Service

- Serving by cooking, building, teaching, going on a mission trip, volunteering. Opportunities are limited only by our willingness to explore. 

- Begin wit ha simple project and develop your vocabulary in learning to love God by serving others. 

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5) Speaking Language of Physical Touch

- Touching the Untouchables (every society has its category of untouchable people. 

- Fearful of touching others? (dont allow fear to keep us from expressing love to God by touching His creatures who live on the edges of society) 

- Praying and Physical touch 

- Hugging 

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Chapter 9: When Love seems Distant

- Real love includes discipline

- A child is most likely to rebel against discipline when the child's emotional love tank is empty. A child is most sensitive to discipline if the parents speak primary love language before and after discipline. 

- We are most likely to rebel against the discipline of God when our spiritual love tank is empty. When God's method of discipline relates directly to our primary love language, it strikes us at the deepest possible level. 

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1) Discipline to Bring us back to God

- We need discipline when we are walking away from God and in danger of bringing harm to ourselves and the people around us. As we are walking away, we are less likely to feel His love, when he reaches out to discipline us His methods seems severe. 

- God often uses our primary love language to bring us to a place of repentance and forgiveness (eg. WOA. Heavens become silent, colleagues condemn us, ppl at home become critical, when we read Bible we see statements that reveal our sinfulness, our hearts are empty and eventualy we cry out to God in desperation) 

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2) Discipline for our Good

- our parents discipline us for what they believe to be for our good. But they make mistakes, God doesn't. His purpose is to move us down the pathway of righteousness and peace. 

-  when a man realizes that spiritual things are worth more - and certainly will last when the material things are gone - he will work harder for spiritual things

- God loves us so much that He wants us to love Him in return.

- God disciplines in our love language (when God refuse to give His children al that they request, it's not a withdrawal of His love but rather a profound expression of His love.) 

- God loves us enough to stay away from us if that is what it takes to create a fresh hunger for His presence. 

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